Is the F Word Stopping You From Becoming a First Time Home Buyer?

Don’t let the F Word keep you from buying a home!

For the past two years I have been dreaming of becoming a first time home buyer, but there has been something stopping me and I can finally admit it. It’s the dreaded F Word…Fear! The thought of buying a home terrifies me.  You may laugh considering I work in the real estate industry but like many other renters I am scared to make that leap into home ownership.

I currently rent a 2-bedroom apartment in West Orange, NJ. There is plenty of room for me, my husband Joe and our cat Rory to live comfortably.

One of the biggest benefits of where we currently live is we are just five minutes away from my parents who live in my hometown of Livingston. Our rent is low enough that we have the financial freedom to enjoy dinners out, vacations and an occasional shopping spree (ok, maybe that last part is just me).  While this all sounds great, I still get a pain in my stomach every single time I write out my rent check knowing it is going right into someone else’s pocket and not toward my own possession. Does this sound familiar to you?

Joe and I have jobs we enjoy and our joint incomes, one would think, should allow us to buy a home. So what’s stopping me? That dreaded F word again…FEAR. Recently, a friend who owns a home in our town asked how much we pay for rent. When I told them our rent they laughed and said it was nearly $400 more than their mortgage payment! Again, instant stomach pain. And with that pain my apprehension returns. Can I truly afford owning a home? What about taxes? How much of a down payment can we make without living on Ramen Noodles for the next few years?  Am I willing to give up the luxury of living near my parents to afford the starter home I have been dreaming of? Are you seeing a pattern emerge? Yes, all of these unanswered questions revolve around finances!

After renting for two and a half years I am ready to face my fear. I headed to and checked out the rent vs buy, monthly payment and affordability calculators.

As I suspected, the rent vs buy calculator clearly indicated buying a home would be the best long term decision financially and the affordability calculator gave me a higher number than I had predicted! Moving into the town where we currently live is something we could definitely afford and if we expand our search radius we can even get more home for our money. As a Jersey girl, I think I know all the towns I would be interested in but I am still going to check out the lifestyle calculator to identify towns that meet our lifestyle needs. I think I will save that adventure for another blog post.

After looking at and accepting the numbers my next move will be consulting our accountant and my other advisor, my dad who has been in the real estate industry (with Coldwell Banker) for 20+ years, to learn about tax implications and other costs associated with buying a home.  This has been a major step for me in my journey toward buying a home. These tools are all available on the first time home buyer section of and are ready for you to try at your convenience. Remember…the only thing to fear is fear itself, so go ahead and run the numbers! You may be surprised; your dream to own a home may be closer to reach than you thought.

Are you going through the same process as me? Leave a comment and let’s chat!

Lindsay is the Senior Manager of Media Engagement for Coldwell Banker Real Estate and is a licensed real estate agent. She was born and raised in New Jersey and just bought her first home in Livingston, where she grew up. When Lindsay isn’t busy facebooking, tweeting or instagramming she is enjoying life with her husband Joe and cat Rory. She enjoys binging on Netflix, cooking and Zumba.

  • Wendy Herfurth Fox

    Funny, every time I use calculators like that I always get the result that I am better off renting.

    • Coldwell Banker

      The calculator is a good first step in determining whether it would be better to rent vs buy. As we both know there many more factors that will determine if one is ready to buy. If you have any questions I would be happy to help put you in touch with an agent in your area.

      • Wendy Herfurth Fox

        I’ve been in touch with agents in my area. No matter what I do, I don’t qualify. I am making more than I ever have before right now (by no means rich but quite a bit above min wage) and I still don’t qualify. I understand they can’t work magic and there are things I need to do but having a house at a lower payment than rent would help me make the changes I need to make yet, I have to make those changes to get the loan. See a pattern here? Not to mention I am a contract worker. Not a temp in the strict sense but not a permanent either. Hard to find permanent work in my field. Due to this one reason alone, I’ve been told to go away and come back when I am permanent.

        I could go on and on but I won’t put any more personal info out here. The only point I was trying to make is buying isn’t always within reach so quit making renters feel bad.

        • Coldwell Banker

          Hi Wendy,

          By no means am I trying to make anyone feel bad. I completely understand that buying is NOT within reach for everyone, especially with our current economy. My only purpose is to give insight into my current situation and guide others on their own journey by equipping them with tools that Coldwel Banker has to offer. Thank you for taking the time to respond.


  • Pingback: Is the F Word Stopping You From Becoming a First Time Home Buyer? | c'estate la vie()

  • Gene Mundt

    Just an observation, (and I’ll tell you upfront that I am a mortgage lender) … if you are this afraid of buying, the process you are seeing must be instilling that fear. And that observation would make me think those professionals (other than agents) you are working with are not calming those fears for you. Find someone you can trust and believe in and much of that fear and apprehension will disappear. Hope you decide to move forward …

    • Coldwell Banker

      Hi Gene,

      Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I believe that the fear is the first step in overcoming the process and getting the knowledge dispels the fear.

  • Pingback: Is the F Word Stopping You From Becoming a First Time Home Buyer? « ericfurs()

  • Angie from CB Western Region

    We are in the same exact boat LIndsay! We’ve been on & off the search for our first home over the past 2 years. But I think this year is going to change. We’re going to GO for it!

  • Pingback: Is the F Word Stopping You From Buying a Home? (Part 2) | Thoughts on Real Estate | Coldwell Banker Blue Matter()