89 Things You Didn’t Know About the Home of the X-Men
Facts, anecdotes and general musings about Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.
1. The X-Mansion was built by the hands of Professor X’s Dutch ancestors.
6. Originally uniforms were required to be a resident of Xavier’s School for the gifted.
7. But now the dress code is open to personalized attire.
8. The home features a continually updated game room.
9. The game room also boasts state of the art VR gaming and holographic projection.
10. And a movie collection that spans the best of Hollywood and some intergalactic alien favorites.
11. Like Gigli.
14. (insert It’s the End of the World As We Know It joke here)
15. Professor X’s study and library are both his own private getaway and a classroom when school is in session.
16. On his desk, Professor X has a glass stapler.
20. I’m not sure what it is, but I want one.
21. People who send him mail don’t like to leave return addresses.
25. Except for me, I’ve read The Sentimental Education by Gustave Flaubert.
26. And Quo Vadis.
27. But I’ve only seen the cartoon of The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
28. Not my fave.
29. Professor X enjoys spinning a few tunes to relax.
30. Evidently, he likes instrumental music.
31. And even enjoys boxed sets of Time Life records.
32. I was expecting Can’t Get You Outta My Head to be in there somewhere.
33. The X-Mansion is arguably the most secure single-family home in any Earth timeline.
34. The front gate has an anti-acceleration field generator to prevent ramming through them.
35. There’s also a radio shack on the grounds.
36. Not the store where you go to find that battery you never seem to have in your junk drawer.
37. A literal shack with a radio tower on it for communications monitoring.
38. And its explosion proof.
39. Wonder how they tested that?
40. Inside the mansion, residents are provided a smart key to access parts of the home as well as other security elements.
41. The security doors to Cerebro are made of adamantium-melded steel.
44. Yes, that’s a real thing.
45. It’s officially known as “The Cerebro User List.”
46. The upstairs of the X-Mansion boasts 24 bedrooms and just as many bathrooms.
47. Again, how is there no cleaning service for this place?
48. In addition to dormitory rooms for students there’s also a literal “study hall.”
49. It’s on the floor plans.
50. You can also find an automated laundry and linen service.
51. Ah, so there’s no cleaning people, but there’s robots that do the laundry.
52. Now that makes sense.
53. In the basement there’s a furniture storage area.
54. It’s a basement, what else did you expect to find there?
55. Book storage?
56. Yes, there’s a room for that too.
57. And a laundry.
58. Evidently the laundry robots must live in the basement.
59. Next to the wine cellar.
60. Wonder if the wine cellar has security to keep the kids out?
61. Maybe a retina scan device that determines your age using bio-sensors to keep underage kids out?
62. Or just a lock might work.
63. Beneath the property are the Morlock Tunnels.
64. Yes, they’re damp, creepy and often times infested with all sorts of sundry creatures.
65. So you know the teenage boys hang out there a lot.
66. Let’s not forget about the jet hangar.
67. There’s also a lab.
68. Medical bay for those laser beam burns.
69. Gymnasium for training.
70. Plus the outdoor fully retractable basketball court.
71. Basically any amenity you can think of, the X-Mansion has.
72. Like a danger room.
74. High speed transport tunnel.
76. Danger room.
77. Already said that.
78. Automated surgery center.
79. Why not? No one wants to deal with health care premiums.
80. Sauna and whirlpool.
81. Yup – a mutant’s gotta have a good soak every now and then.
82. And last but not least – an ante room.
83. Not for your auntie.
84. Actually I don’t know what that’s for.
85. But the X-Mansion has it.
86. Because it’s the X-Mansion.
87. Home of the X-Men.
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